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CHAPTER
XXX GOOD-BYE So far as I was concerned myself, I
had come to port;
but I had still Alan, to whom I was so much beholden, on my hands; and
I felt
besides a heavy charge in the matter of the murder and James of the
Glens.
On both these heads I unbosomed to Rankeillor the
next morning, walking
to and fro about six of the clock before the house of Shaws, and with
nothing in
view but the fields and woods that had been my ancestors' and were now
mine.
Even as I spoke on these grave subjects, my eye
would take a glad bit of
a run over the prospect, and my heart jump with pride.
About my clear duty to my friend,
the lawyer had no
doubt. I must help
him out of the
county at whatever risk; but in the case of James, he was of a
different mind.
"Mr. Thomson," says he, "is one
thing,
Mr. Thomson's kinsman quite another.
I
know little of the facts, but I gather that a great noble (whom we
will call, if you like, the D. of A.)[36]
has some concern and is
even supposed to feel some animosity in the matter.
The D. of A. is doubtless an excellent nobleman;
but, Mr. David, timeo
qui nocuere deos. If
you interfere
to balk his vengeance, you should remember there is one way to shut
your
testimony out; and that is to put you in the dock.
There, you would be in the same pickle as Mr.
Thomson's kinsman.
You will object that you are innocent; well, but so
is he.
And to be tried for your life before a Highland
jury, on a Highland
quarrel and with a Highland Judge upon the bench, would be a brief
transition to
the gallows." Now I had made all these reasonings
before and found
no very good reply to them; so I put on all the simplicity I could.
"In that case, sir," said I, "I would just have to
be
hanged — would I not?"
"My dear boy," cries he, "go in
God's
name, and do what you think is right.
It
is a poor thought that at my time of life I should be advising you to
choose the
safe and shameful; and I take it back with an apology.
Go and do your duty; and be hanged, if you must,
like a gentleman.
There are worse things in the world than to be
hanged."
"Not many, sir," said I, smiling.
"Why, yes, sir," he cried, "very
many.
And it would be ten times better for your uncle (to
go no farther afield)
if he were dangling decently upon a gibbet."
Thereupon he turned into the house
(still in a great
fervour of mind, so that I saw I had pleased him heartily) and there he
wrote me
two letters, making his comments on them as he wrote.
"This," says he, "is to my bankers,
the British Linen Company, placing a credit to your name.
Consult Mr. Thomson, he will know of ways; and you,
with this credit, can
supply the means. I
trust you will be a good husband of your money; but in the
affair of a friend like Mr. Thompson, I would be even prodigal.
Then for his kinsman, there is no better way than
that you should seek
the Advocate, tell him your tale, and offer testimony; whether he may
take it or
not, is quite another matter, and will turn on the D. of A.
Now, that you may reach the Lord Advocate well
recommended, I give you
here a letter to a namesake of your own, the learned Mr. Balfour of
Pilrig, a
man whom I esteem. It
will look
better that you should be presented by one of your own name; and the
laird of
Pilrig is much looked up to in the Faculty and stands well with Lord
Advocate
Grant. I would not
trouble him, if
I were you, with any particulars; and (do you know?) I think it would
be
needless to refer to Mr. Thomson.
Form
yourself upon the laird, he is a good model; when you deal with the
Advocate, be
discreet; and in all these matters, may the Lord guide you, Mr. David!"
Thereupon he took his farewell, and
set out with
Torrance for the Ferry, while Alan and I turned our faces for the city
of
Edinburgh. As we
went by the
footpath and beside the gateposts and the unfinished lodge, we kept
looking back
at the house of my fathers. It
stood there, bare and great and smokeless, like a place not lived in;
only in
one of the top windows, there was the peak of a nightcap bobbing up and
down and
back and forward, like the head of a rabbit from a burrow. I had little welcome when
I came, and less kindness while I
stayed; but at least I was watched as I went away.
Alan and I went slowly forward upon
our way, having
little heart either to walk or speak.
The
same thought was uppermost in both, that we were near the time of our
parting;
and remembrance of all the bygone days sate upon us sorely.
We talked indeed of what should be done; and it was
resolved that Alan
should keep to the county, biding now here, now there, but coming once
in the
day to a particular place where I might be able to communicate with
him, either
in my own person or by messenger.
In
the meanwhile, I was to seek out a lawyer, who was an Appin Stewart,
and a man
therefore to be wholly trusted; and it should be his part to find a
ship and to
arrange for Alan's safe embarkation.
No
sooner was this business done, than the words seemed to leave us; and
though I
would seek to jest with Alan under the name of Mr. Thomson, and he with
me on my
new clothes and my estate, you could feel very well that we were nearer
tears
than laughter. We came the by-way over the hill of
Corstorphine; and
when we got near to the place called Rest-and-be-Thankful, and looked
down on
Corstorphine bogs and over to the city and the castle on the hill, we
both
stopped, for we both knew without a word said that we had come to where
our ways
parted. Here he
repeated to me once
again what had been agreed upon between us: the address of the lawyer,
the daily
hour at which Alan might be found, and the signals that were to be made
by any
that came seeking him. Then
I gave
what money I had (a guinea or two of Rankeillor's) so that he should
not starve
in the meanwhile; and then we stood a space, and looked over at
Edinburgh in
silence. "Well, good-bye," said Alan, and
held out
his left hand. "Good-bye," said I, and gave the
hand a
little grasp, and went off down hill.
Neither one of us looked the other
in the face, nor
so long as he was in my view did I take one back glance at the friend I
was
leaving. But as I
went on my way to
the city, I felt so lost and lonesome, that I could have found it in my
heart to
sit down by the dyke, and cry and weep like any baby.
It was coming near noon when I
passed in by the West
Kirk and the Grassmarket into the streets of the capital.
The huge height of the buildings, running up to ten
and fifteen storeys,
the narrow arched entries that continually vomited passengers, the
wares of the
merchants in their windows, the hubbub and endless stir, the foul
smells and the
fine clothes, and a hundred other particulars too small to mention,
struck me
into a kind of stupor of surprise, so that I let the crowd carry me to
and fro;
and yet all the time what I was thinking of was Alan at
Rest-and-be-Thankful;
and all the time (although you would think I would not choose but be
delighted
with these braws and novelties) there was a cold gnawing in my inside
like a
remorse for something wrong.
The hand of Providence brought me
in my drifting to
the very doors of the British Linen Company's bank.
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