Letter from Fanny to Frank Hall, from Hartford, Ct.
Hartford Dec. 25, 1862
My own dearest one,
There is really some more comfort in writing
now for I know that you receive my letters and there has been such uncertainty
& fear in my mind that it has been pretty hard hubbie. I am longing for
your journal letter. Surely you will not think of such a thing as doing anything
with it further than to mail it. Wifey wants it just as it is written, and
you know I can read even sometimes when even you cannot, so let it come,
dearest, just as it is; it is to own wifey and she will love it all, every
word. And that I am sure your heart must tell you, yet after all hubbie,
I don't believe you know how I love you.
I am fairly impressed at myself to know
as I do now how fully I have been in the habit of going to you with my little
matters even. And deary you love to have me do so, do you not? I can assure
you I think of it constantly now for I have to cogitate by myself and think
what hubbie would say, but if is amusing because sometimes it is such trivial
matters that arise.
Ma has just been in and sends her love.
She has gone out for a walk. I think she is remarkably well this season.
And we have good accounts from Lizzie & Jennie. Ma is much gratified
by the fact that Lizzie is making arrangements to have Genlie have a Merry
Christmas; was intending to write some young ladies for his edification &
c. & shows a great interest in the matter.
Oh hubbie, I try to know more fully how
you are situated. Yes, indeed, my own darling husband, I know you "have not
much nervousness," and that coupled with your entire forgetfulness of self
makes me fear you will outstep the bounds of that which you are called to
do and needlessly place yourself in exposure. Do remember your duty in this
respect even as you would have me at home remember my duty to take care
here.
One ought not from a desire to be enduring
of hardships to expose oneself needlessly. Do you fully understand me, my
own husband, tell me. Do not yourself impose burdens that you [k]no[w] I
need not bear. Will you remember my Franky? You say you have received all
my letters, there has been such a number of them that you have had enough
to do to read them all. I want, my dear Franky, to meet your wishes entirely
and you may be sure I shall try to do it.
Now, I wrote some time ago, begging you
to tell me how to endorse over that check (V.R.'s) to y[ou]r account at the
bank and then, dear hubbie, will you please send me some checks. It is the
sweetest way for me, I want it so. Don't send any very large sum, or anyhow
if you like the plan, I will send you on the amount of any bills and you
can send on the check. But you may deem it best to send the checks to me
for my endorsement. Just as hubbie thinks best, but I meant do not send on
checks for too much. Comprenez vous?
Remember we are own husband & wife.
And one interest and one love in all and through all, my own dearest one.
Ever keep this in mind & never let there be even for one moment a separate
interest. It will be a regular comfort to have your checks, it will seem
like your care of me, my hubbie. Perhaps you have already sent them with
the directions. If not deary, don't forget please own one.
Tell me you love me dearly and write me
all about your own self that is what I want. There is where my love &
interest is.
Franky, will you bear with me if I ask
you to be very cautious about involving your self in any manner whatsoever
with your bank account and the men's funds. Forgive me if I do wrong, but
it seems to me you cannot be too careful in this respect. I may misjudge
but it does not seem needful that because of y[ou]r advantages you should
be involved.
Love me, tell me you do & that you
are not troubled at my writing this. John has sent for this letter &
it must go, taking with it a heart full of deep earnest love from thine own
wife.
Fannie
I wrote you before that it seems best for us to remain here till after the 1st. Do you approve dearest?