Letter from Fanny to Frank Hall, from Hartford, Ct.
Hartford Dec. 11th, 1862
My dearest one
Where and how are you, my husband, are
questions constantly on my heart. I do not know why, but it never occurred
to me there could or would be such delay about letters. Yours
to me it seems, so needless that they should be delayed. Sometimes I feel
so that I fairly do not know what to do. Here it is, the 1l and yours
from Washington was the 8? I know, my husband, it is from no fault of
yours, no neglect. For ten years, I have whenever we have been separated,
had letters every day or other one, so I have not a shadow of a doubt if
you are able to have written, I know you would make every effort rather than
not, but then if the mails keep the letters from me, it is not to be wondered
at that I am troubled. It is suprising that I did not anticipate it perhaps
but with correct & explicit direction, I supposed it would be regular
enough. And if you do not hear from me, I know it must be a great trial to
you, too.
Oh, my husband, are you well, are you
comfortable? From the newspaper I learn that there was a wire from Stafford
Court House, either Wednesday or Thursday, and I fear you need a great many
conveniences that you ought to have had.
Oh, how I pray for you & think of
you constantly, my husband. God only knows. My very
heart goes out to you, Franky. Oh, how I love you. How I dwell in your love;
it is so tender, so deep, dear hubbie. You cannot tell how it is with
me all the time. It is such sweet confidence, oh, but how I long to
feel you and watch you.
Franky, my husband,
if you are sick, trust neither to telegraphs or letters, send
someone to me, immediately. It is the only way to make sure; remember you
gave me your promise you would send for me. But do not trust only to telegraph
or letter, send someone on and turn all fop me, and remember God will help
wify come to you. Don't let anything keep you for one instant from keeping
your promise.
Stop & think for one instant how you
are my earth & all. How my happiness is bound up in you & do to wifey
as you would have her do to you. Send immediately. But you will remember
your promise, for it was a positive one.
Do you wonder I am anxious. It seems as
if I could not give my mind to anything. This morning in reading family prayers
I came to something that made me feel that I must try and do something. So,
this morning, hubbie, I read for an hour in "Napoleon." Was that being a
dear little wify? Tell me my husband.
Oh, I do love you so, so
dearly. You don't know how dearly, I am finding out about it
anyway, dear Franky. Is there any thing in the wide, wide world I can say
to induce you to be careful of yourself. It is a duty to God as well as to
your own wife. Hubbie, will you think of this, will you remember what you
are to me and be cautious. Yet, even you, my husband, can't know
all you are to me. And no words can tell. God knows, and deep, deep
in my heart I know. Oh, for the love you have for me be cautious for me;
remember it is for me.\
Yesterday and today the weather has moderated
a good deal, and I am most thankful. I have felt this cold weather for, you
so much. Remember if your throat troubles you, your duty is plain and do
not delay, but come home.
It certainly was a sweet Providence came
that Lieut. Major Palmer's letter here so that I could know they were expecting
you, and where the Regt. Was. I should certainly have supposed you were coming
on finding the place supplied. And then it would have been still harder to
found it was just detention of mails. Pray dearest, the God may give us each
strength to do as we ought and that He will spare us one to another long
and happily here on earth and let us be indeed help mates to one
another.
My Frank, I know Just how interested you
will become & how utterly forgetful of self you will be. But I beg and
entreat of you fop my sake to remember that you will impair your usefulness
& will do contrary to God's will if you do not have a proper regard to
your health. Will you heed my request?
I sent word to John to have him ready
to take this to the office for the 5:15 mail so you shall have a fresh
letter. I went out yesterday and took, a little walk. The day was very pleasant.
Then hubbie, Tuesday according to your request, I went down to see Dr. Hawes;
he was in, saw Mrs. Hawes and had a pleasant call. Met Dr. H. in the street
afterwards and had a little talk, He was very cordial & pleasant, sent
his love to you. I believe said he should have been very glad to have seen
you, as you talked of calling, you know. It would do your heart good to see
what an interest in you the servants take and how they try to be thoughtful
of me; it is most pleasant, it is so good to have any body enter into
your feelings and feel with you.
Have you a horse? If you are on the onward
move, I suppose you will not come on to do anything about these horses. My
husband, remember and not for anything attempt to go with out any comfort
that can be procured. Think how anxious I am and be careful. Do not allow
yourself for the sake of seeing anything to expose yourself. In your duties
there will, I know, be exposures, but do not take any that can be
avoided.
Oh, hubbie, my heart is with you
all the time. Do you have any ladies in Camp? I see at Chantilly several
officers have their wives with them. Tell me everything you can about yourself,
your work. I am sure of one thing, you will love the men & I trust, gain
their affection. You know I think you have a way of doing
that.
And I trust God will let you do great good
to their souls and by the duties there prepare you for the pastoral duty
at home. I mean with a parish, and long spare us to one another
here.
John has come. Ma sends "seashells" of
love.
And from your wife the deep, true, unfailing
heart love of thine own wifey.
Fannie Fan