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"It is but
honest that I should
acknowledge at the beginning of my recital that I was born an ordinary
Woggle-Bug," began the creature, in a frank and friendly tone.
"Knowing no better, I used my arms as well as my legs for walking, and
crawled under the edges of stones or hid among the roots of grasses
with no
thought beyond finding a few insects smaller than myself to feed upon. "The chill nights rendered me stiff
and motionless, for I wore no clothing, but each morning the warm rays
of the
sun gave me new life and restored me to activity. A horrible existence
is this,
but you must remember it is the regular ordained existence of
Woggle-Bugs, as
well as of many other tiny creatures that inhabit the earth. "But Destiny had singled me out,
humble though I was, for a grander fate! One day I crawled near to a
country
school house, and my curiosity being excited by the monotonous hum of
the
students within, I made bold to enter and creep along a crack between
two
boards until I reached the far end, where, in front of a hearth of
glowing
embers, sat the master at his desk. "No one noticed so small a creature
as a Woggle-Bug, and when I found that the hearth was even warmer and
more
comfortable than the sunshine, I resolved to establish my future home
beside
it. So I found a charming nest between two bricks and hid myself
therein for
many, many months. "Professor Nowitall is, doubtless,
the most famous scholar in the land of Oz, and after a few days I began
to
listen to the lectures and discourses he gave his pupils. Not one of
them was
more attentive than the humble, unnoticed Woggle-Bug, and I acquired in
this
way a fund of knowledge that I will myself confess is simply marvelous.
That is
why I place 'T.E.' Thoroughly Educated upon my cards; for my greatest
pride
lies in the fact that the world cannot produce another Woggle-Bug with
a tenth
part of my own culture and erudition." "I do not blame you," said the
Scarecrow. "Education is a thing to be proud of. I'm educated myself.
The
mess of brains given me by the Great Wizard is considered by my friends
to be
unexcelled." "Nevertheless," interrupted the
Tin Woodman, "a good heart is, I believe, much more desirable than
education or brains." "To me," said the Saw-Horse,
"a good leg is more desirable than either." "Could seeds be considered in the
light of brains?" enquired the Pumpkinhead, abruptly. "Keep quiet!" commanded Tip,
sternly. "Very well, dear father," answered
the obedient Jack. The Woggle-Bug listened patiently — even
respectfully — to these remarks, and then resumed his story. "I must have lived fully three years
in that secluded school-house hearth," said he, "drinking thirstily
of the ever-flowing fount of limpid knowledge before me." "Quite poetical," commented the
Scarecrow, nodding his head approvingly. "But one day" continued the
Bug, "a marvelous circumstance occurred that altered my very existence
and
brought me to my present pinnacle of greatness. The Professor
discovered me in
the act of crawling across the hearth, and before I could escape he had
caught
me between his thumb and forefinger. "'My dear children,' said he, 'I
have captured a Woggle-Bug — a very rare and interesting specimen. Do
any of
you know what a Woggle-Bug is?' "'No!' yelled the scholars, in
chorus. "'Then,'
said the Professor, 'I will get out my famous
magnifying-glass and throw the insect upon a screen in a
highly-magnified
condition, that you may all study carefully its peculiar construction
and
become acquainted with its habits and manner of life.' "He then brought from a cupboard a
most curious instrument, and before I could realize what had happened I
found
myself thrown upon a screen in a highly-magnified state — even as you
now
behold me. "The students stood up on their
stools and craned their heads forward to get a better view of me, and
two
little girls jumped upon the sill of an open window where they could
see more
plainly. "'Behold!' cried the Professor, in a
loud voice, 'this highly-magnified Woggle-Bug; one of the most curious
insects
in existence!' "Being Thoroughly Educated, and
knowing what is required of a cultured gentleman, at this juncture I
stood
upright and, placing my hand upon my bosom, made a very polite bow. My
action,
being unexpected, must have startled them, for one of the little girls
perched
upon the window-sill gave a scream and fell backward out the window,
drawing
her companion with her as she disappeared. "The Professor uttered a cry of
horror and rushed away through the door to see if the poor children
were
injured by the fall. The scholars followed after him in a wild mob, and
I was
left alone in the school-room, still in a Highly-Magnified state and
free to do
as I pleased. "The students stood up on their stools." "It
immediately occurred to me that
this was a good opportunity to escape. I was proud of my great size,
and
realized that now I could safely travel anywhere in the world, while my
superior culture would make me a fit associate for the most learned
person I
might chance to meet. "So, while the Professor picked the
little girls — who were more frightened than hurt — off the ground, and
the
pupils clustered around him closely grouped, I calmly walked out of the
school-house,
turned a corner, and escaped unnoticed to a grove of trees that stood
near" "Wonderful!" exclaimed the
Pumpkinhead, admiringly. "It was, indeed," agreed the
Woggle-Bug. "I have never ceased to congratulate myself for escaping
while
I was Highly Magnified; for even my excessive knowledge would have
proved of
little use to me had I remained a tiny, insignificant insect." "I didn't know before," said
Tip, looking at the Woggle-Bug with a puzzled expression, "that insects
wore clothes." "Nor do they, in their natural
state," returned the stranger. "But in the course of my wanderings I
had the good fortune to save the ninth life of a tailor — tailors
having, like
cats, nine lives, as you probably know. The fellow was exceedingly
grateful,
for had he lost that ninth life it would have been the end of him; so
he begged
permission to furnish me with the stylish costume I now wear. It fits
very
nicely, does it not?" and the Woggle-Bug stood up and turned himself
around slowly, that all might examine his person. "He must have been a good
tailor," said the Scarecrow, somewhat enviously. "He was a good-hearted tailor, at
any rate," observed Nick Chopper. "But where were you going, when you
met us?" Tip asked the Woggle-Bug. "Nowhere in particular," was the
reply, "although it is my intention soon to visit the Emerald City and
arrange to give a course of lectures to select audiences on the
'Advantages of
Magnification.'" "We are bound for the Emerald City
now," said the Tin Woodman; "so, if it pleases you to do so, you are
welcome to travel in our company." The Woggle-Bug bowed with profound grace. "It will give me great
pleasure," said he "to accept your kind invitation; for nowhere in
the Land of Oz could I hope to meet with so congenial a company." "That is true," acknowledged
the Pumpkinhead. "We are quite as congenial as flies and honey." "But — pardon me if I seem
inquisitive — are you not all rather — ahem! rather unusual?" asked the
Woggle-Bug, looking from one to another with unconcealed interest. "Not more so than yourself,"
answered the Scarecrow. "Everything in life is unusual until you get
accustomed to it." "What rare philosophy!"
exclaimed the Woggle-Bug, admiringly. "Yes; my brains are working well
today," admitted the Scarecrow, an accent of pride in his voice. "Then, if you are sufficiently
rested and refreshed, let us bend our steps toward the Emerald City,"
suggested the magnified one. "We can't," said Tip. "The
Saw-Horse has broken a leg, so he can't bend his steps. And there is no
wood
around to make him a new limb from. And we can't leave the horse behind
because
the Pumpkinhead is so stiff in his Joints that he has to ride." "How very unfortunate!" cried
the Woggle-Bug. Then he looked the party over carefully and said: "If the Pumpkinhead is to ride, why
not use one of his legs to make a leg for the horse that carries him? I
judge
that both are made of wood." "Now, that is what I call real
cleverness," said the Scarecrow, approvingly. "I wonder my
brains did not think of that long ago!
Get to work, my dear Nick, and fit the Pumpkinhead's leg to the
Saw-Horse." Jack was not especially pleased with this
idea; but he submitted to having his left leg amputated by the Tin
Woodman and
whittled down to fit the left leg of the Saw-Horse. Nor was the
Saw-Horse
especially pleased with the operation, either; for he growled a good
deal about
being "butchered," as he called it, and afterward declared that the
new leg was a disgrace to a respectable Saw-Horse. "I beg you to be more careful in
your speech," said the Pumpkinhead, sharply. "Remember, if you
please, that it is my leg you are abusing." "I cannot forget it," retorted
the Saw-Horse, "for it is quite as flimsy as the rest of your
person." "Flimsy! me flimsy!" cried
Jack, in a rage. "How dare you call me flimsy?" "Because you are built as absurdly
as a jumping-jack," sneered the horse, rolling his knotty eyes in a
vicious manner. "Even your head won't stay straight, and you never can
tell whether you are looking backwards or forwards!" "Friends, I entreat you not to
quarrel!" pleaded the Tin Woodman, anxiously." As a matter of fact,
we are none of us above criticism; so let us bear with each others'
faults." "An excellent suggestion," said
the Woggle-Bug, approvingly. "You must have an excellent heart, my
metallic friend." "I have," returned Nick, well
pleased. "My heart is quite the best part of me. But now let us start
upon
our Journey. They perched the one-legged Pumpkinhead
upon the Saw-Horse, and tied him to his seat with cords, so that he
could not
possibly fall off. And then, following the lead of the
Scarecrow, they all advanced in the direction of the Emerald City. |